6 Reasons I’m Glad I Didn’t Put My Life On Hold (And Neither Should You) When Trying To Conceive.

Well these are my top tips really…

1. Invest in your marriage/relationship

Getting married is a huge adjustment and having several years to get to know my spouse and invest in the relationship prior to starting our family, really eased the pressure that children can bring.

We were able to travel together and grow together BEFORE our babies arrived, meaning that the challenges that marriages tend to face – we had faced them already and knew each others core better than new relationships. We had learnt how to communicate with each other and had a better understanding of each others limits before parenting was thrown in.

2. Invest in yourself

I look back at myself 10 years ago and laugh at how mature I thought I was.

Although I can say that maturity tends to come with parenting but I did not have the life experience I have now.

I was not aware of some of my baggage that I was carrying around and therefore had not saught that reflection that comes before healing.

Becoming a parent later has meant that I am more self aware and intentional about the kindness that i pour into our babies.

3. Career Development

Having a decade to pursue my career and gain experience meant that i did not struggle to do so and had no fear about being overlooked as a new mum.

I was already experienced in my field, so it was easier to find roles that I WANTED and ask for what I  NEEDED (i.e. salary, flexibility) in order to also prioritise being present for my children.

I do not feel unfulfilled at all as I made the most of my time when it was my own.

4. Finance

When I finished university, i was in debt.

When I got married, I was still paying it off.

Becoming someone’s wife helped me focus on sorting out my finance by clearing my debt, building my credit score and most importantly – living within my means.

Children can be expensive as they grow, and starting with a clean slate is helpful and it means it will be less pressure on your home.

Being irresponsible with your resources is not wise. These issues will only magnify in a marriage and when babies arrive.

5. Life skills and Investment

I was fortunate to have a very forward thinking mother.

When I finished my studies, she guided me a lot in terms of life skills and investments.

I returned to my parents home after uni, rent free but I learnt how to drive with the money I was earning before getting married and investing in a property.

As a parent now, I would not be able to move around as I do, if I couldn’t drive, certain jobs would not be practical and even getting to childcare would’ve been hard and extra pressure on my spouse.

These things can be done at anytime, but I’m glad it was done when I had the time and finance.

6. Pursue your gifts and talents without reservation.

My earliest memory of music, was at the age of 2.

I was born to sing and when I became a Christian, it evolved into a heart of worship.

I was fortunate to be able to audition for a professional choir in my 20’s. I toured the world, appeared on national and international  TV, shared the stage with huge stars and leant my voice to some successful albums whilst spreading the love and good news of Christ.

I would sometimes be in 3 countries in one week, get off the tour bus, go home, have a shower and go to work for a 15 hour shift.

I served in church like there was no tomorrow -I believe it was my season to do that at that time.

These are memories, I will cherish for life.

I am so glad I did it as my priorities have changed and I am not looking back with any regret.