“You look like a DIY mum…”. She snickered.
I guess I should put this into context for you… so I’ll start from the beginning.
It was exactly 11.10am and I had arrived at the main carpark. It was always a rush getting to church, but today was especially pressured. Yes. I had Micah with me. My husband was working and mum had returned back to Nigeria.
It may be no big deal to the naked eye, but it was for me. I felt a sense of pride as I looked for parking. But my mind was racing as I tried to plan how I would carry him and my bags into the building. Nightmare.
No one ever told me how heavy the car seats are to carry, let alone putting the child in it. Definitely wasn’t going to happen for me. So i bravely carried him in my arms, with my changing bag on my back. It was sunday service, so it was an excuse to dress up and feel like myself again. The days of lashes everyday, with heels and lipstick were gone. I just didn’t have the energy to put the time in for that. But today was different. Sacrificing an hours sleep to get my face on was definitely worth it. My chunky block heels disguised the baggy trousers I was wearing into a fashion statement. So i was happy.
After changing him, Thirty minutes later I was ready to feed Micah. I had decided before he was born I would give him the gift of breastmilk only for as long as I could. I had seen too many babies with gut issues in general practice, who all happened to not be breastfed. Possibly a coincidence. Possibly not. Who knows. But it is well known that breast is best..
So the next task was to get him to the feeding area. And this is where my ‘take a deep breath and walk away’encounter happened.
There were two ladies in there with their young kids. I didn’t know them, but I had seen them before in there.
“Hi sis”. One of the ladies said. I smiled back politely. I found a seat and began to organise myself to make this process as efficient as possible. It was already 11.50am and I had not gone into the service yet.
Micah fed for about 20 mins and seemed satisfied. “But where can i put him while i fix myself” I thought. In hindsight, I could’ve asked someone in the adjacent room to hold him.
Laying him flat on a table, I quickly adjusted my top ready to go into the service.
“Sis, where is your car seat?” One of the ladies asked.
“In the car”. I replied. “It was too heavy for me”
“You really should bring your car seat or they will get used to you carrying them. I guess your husband isn’t here then?”
“But you look like one of those DIY mums who doesn’t want anyone to help. You want to do it all yourself”.
By now. I was irritated.
“Well you should really sort that out. I’m sure you will want to get back to work soon”.
Sigh.
How does one respond to so many simultaneous assumptions?
It’s not the first time I had attracted advice based on assumptions. I just took a deep breath and excused myself.
I guess this was a great introduction to the new world of motherhood. Something told me that this was just the tip of the iceberg…
Was Worth The Wait 